


Nightmares

by wayward_cas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, M/M, brief mention of season 8, human!castiel in the bunker, i dont know how to tag sorry, mention of nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 08:31:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4599930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayward_cas/pseuds/wayward_cas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something had changed. <br/>Well, it had been changing, ever since he and Cas had first met in the barn in Illinois. It’s just Dean hadn’t realized it until now. </p>
<p>Human!Cas in the Bunker. Mentions of Season 8.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic so I'm sorry if there are any errors. This was originally supposed to be a study in Dean and Cas's relationship but then I found myself just writing.

Something had changed.

Well, it had been changing, ever since he and Cas had first met in the barn in Illinois. It’s just Dean hadn’t realized it until now.

When he had first seen Castiel, he had expected more. He had anticipated a fearsome angel, capable of otherworldly feats and burning someone’s eyes at the mere mention of him. And despite the trenchcoat-clad exterior, Castiel was a warrior from Heaven.

Cas was now so different from that hardened soldier. He was so utterly human, with the perpetual behead that never left him and the soft gazes he gave Dean in the morning, still hazy from sleep. In the way he fidgeted with the sleeves of his tan trench coat when he was nervous and the smiles that made line spread out from to corners of his eyes from sheer joy.

Dean had never realized when he started noticing these things. These mannerisms were as much a part of Cas just like his wings once were. However, Cas was awkward and withdrawn ever since the fall. Dean hated that he couldn’t look him in the eye. Whenever Dean asked how Cas was, he would reply “I’m fine”.

Dean knew he wasn’t.

It was the fifth night after the fall that Dean heard him. The bunker was quiet as Dean shifted in his bed. He reached across it to shut the lamp sitting on the nightstand when he heard a shuffling noise. He stilled, then slowly walked towards the sound of the noise.

The sight that he saw wasn’t what Dean expected. As a hunter, he was on high alert for any sign of danger. But this was no danger. It was just Cas, sitting at the kitchen table in his pajamas (which were Dean’s hand-me-down’s, frayed on the hem and slightly too big) and a ceramic mug in between his hands.

“Jesus, Cas, you almost gave me a heart attack.” Cas looked at him inquisitively, head tilted like a bird. He looked at Dean, and then quickly looked back at his hands when Dean met his eyes. It wasn’t quick enough to hide his glassy eyes, Dean thought.

“I apologize, Dean. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t mean to bother you.”

“It’s alright,” Dean said, pulling a chair back and then sitting down on the side of the table adjacent to Cas’s, leaning towards the former angel. His hands almost brushed Cas’s, taking up half of the space on the table. Dean sighed, wiping his hand down his face tiredly, “Okay, so are you gonna tell me what’s really going on?”

Cas froze, eyes impossibly wide, his blue eyes bright, and his mouth agape. He fumbled for words, “Dean, I-I’m fine. Honestly.”

“That’s bullshit and we both know it.”

“I’m _fine_.”

“Cas, please,” Dean leaned forward and rested his hand on Cas’s shoulder, “Talk to me.”

Cas was bony beneath his shirt, shoulder tense. He felt the muscles move under his fingers, a hand reaching up to grip his. Dean looked back at Cas, who was finally looking him in the eye, lips pressed together tightly and eyes shining, “I…I am so _afraid_. Humanity is so new and unfamiliar and I don’t know what to do. These feelings and emotions are disorienting, Dean. I have been having nightmares and I can’t seem to escape them.”

“You’ve been having nightmares?” Dean wanted to be mad that Cas hadn’t told him, but he didn’t want to disrupt the stillness between them. The vulnerable look on his face made Dean want to protect him from everything, no matter what it was. He didn’t want Cas to ever look like this again.

Cas nodded, darting his tongue out to wet his lips. Dean’s eyes tracked the movement, and then he cleared his throat, acutely aware of their proximity, of Cas’s hand covering his own, “Do you want to talk about it, buddy?”

Castiel nodded again, such a small movement that Dean almost didn’t see it. Cas spoke, “I dream of the fall. And of heaven. And of you, Dean.”

He froze, not sure what to do, “What, uh, what about me?”

Cas bit his lip, eyes cast down, “It was when I was controlled by Naomi and she made me-” He stopped, voice cracking, his lips quivering slightly. Dean stood, dropping his hand from Castiel’s shoulder. Cas looked up for a second in shock, but Dean quickly waved him off, scraping his chair across the floor to rest directly in front of Cas. He rested his hand back on Cas’s knee to give the former angel some physical comfort.

“It’s okay Cas, it’s okay. What’d she do?” Dean said. He was so close to Cas now that he could see him swallow nervously. Castiel looked Dean in the face, “She-she made me train to kill you. I didn’t want to, but she kept forcing me and I just couldn’t-”

Dean put his hands on Cas’s shoulders again. Dean could hear his sobs, heartbreakingly loud in the silence of the kitchen. Cas tried to speak, but his words got caught in his throat. Dean pulled the former angel forward, enveloping him into a hug. Cas was shaking, his tears dampening Dean’s shirt near the collar. Dean rubbed small circles into his back, massaging the kinks there.

“I’m here, everything’s going to be fine,” Dean said. He was upset that Cas hadn’t told him earlier, but that was a discussion for another day, “She’s dead. She can’t hurt you anymore. I won’t let anything hurt you.”

Cas’s hands gripped the fabric of Dean’s shirt tightly, as if he wanted to anchor himself to the other man. They stood there for a while, just embraced together in the silence of the night. When the morning came, Sam didn’t question Cas’s red-rimmed eyes, or the stolen, lingering looks between the former angel and his brother.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos are appreciated :)


End file.
